How to Successfully Help Kids Solve Problems Independently
Updated: Jan 17, 2021
As a former school counselor, I LOVE using books in my lessons. Books keep children engaged and captivated. I would often start a classroom lesson off with a book, which would lead to some wonderful follow-up questions and discussions with my students.
One of the lessons I worked on with my students is to effectively communicate within the classroom, and beyond. And be able to identify and solve problems with others in a positive and peaceful manner.
“I Statements” are a wonderful way to do this! However, when I went to find a book on “I Statements” I came up empty handed. Nothing. I could not find a book anywhere.
This led me to write an “I Statement” book.
What is an “I Statement” and why is this beneficial to children?
“I Statement” Benefits
· Allows you to independently resolve conflict in a positive and peaceful manner, and to identify and own the emotion you are feeling.
· Focus on the problem and not the person.
· “I Statement” allows you to tell others how you feel without coming across as mean, accusing, or hurtful.
When you use “I” instead of “you” it allows you to take ownership of the feelings, and words you are trying to express to others. For example, “You make me so mad. You cheated in the game.” This comes across as mean and hurtful.
Using an “I Statement” sounds like this, “I feel upset when you cheated in the game. Please don’t do that again.”
It is important to let others know how you feel and why. Role play with your child and give them some scenarios. Have them respond with an ‘I Statement’. With practice, and over time, their confidence and self-esteem will grow. They will feel more comfortable being able to express their feelings to others and know their voice matters.
In my book, I Can Use An I ‘Statement’, I address what an “I Statement” is:
“I feel ______ (Say how you feel) when you______ (Describe what cause your feeling). “Please _______ (Tell what you would like to happen).”
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